These are in chronological order of appearance and most are my adaptation of the book in order to make everything more concise. As you’ll see I got quite a lot out of this book, this might not be the same stuff others find valuable.
- Criticism is too easy and seldom fruitful, make suggestions or create questions that ask more of people or force them to give an explanation objectively, then create solutions.
- STOP LOOKING AT YOURSELF you won’t have to polish egos or suck up to people if you consistently note and take interest in what THEY do. This will allow you to reference it in conversation and come across as a strong character trait V.S. flattery.
- Encourage people, give honest and sincere appreciation. Make great work loud work.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want, talk in terms of what others want.
- Step into their shoes and see their point of view and then use that to influence your point of view.
- Show how you can solve someone’s problem.
- It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others, it is from such individuals that all human failure springs.
- Find what people like and give them that very thing.
- Focus on things that make you happy in order to be happy, smile, your smile is a great business card.
- Work on being a great listener.
- Always make the other person feel important.
- Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.
- Always avoid the acute angle, don’t jeopardize the mood or tone for minor corrective details when your note is unsolicited.
- “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”
- Don’t trust your first reaction, keep calm and think about it objectively.
- You can measure the size of someone’s character by how they react when encountering opposition.
- Could my opponents be right? Will my reaction bring resolve? Will I win or lose? What will either of those cost me? Will my reaction improve my reputation? Is this a good opportunity for me?
- The best argument is one avoided.
- Don’t say “I’m going to prove to you-” because that sets people on guard prematurely.
- Don’t argue with people, show respect for the other person’s option and relentlessly explain every detail of your product/service.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Keep people answering yes, make it very hard to say no.
- People tend to act as you think they will and will respond as you do.
- The work motivates people the most if they don’t like the work nothing will make it better.
- Let the other person believe an idea is their own, inception them.
- Cite your shortcomings before criticizing where others may be making the same mistake.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Praise is a better tool than condemnation.
- Specific praise looks better than simply stating, “So-and-so does a good job”.
- Helping someone learn one part of what they thought was impossible creates a gateway to higher learning and a better self-starting nature.