Music means many things to people because it can come in many forms. Sometimes music that makes one person feel charged and ready or reflective and stoic can make another person feel nothing at all. Some music is an acquired taste, and even then everyone’s is different. I could name off my personal list of songs I think are amazing but you might think just the opposite, and that’s okay.
The purpose of this blog is to accurately describe a few songs and how they helped me make it through my time in San Francisco. The music I listen to means a great deal to me and that’ what gives it it’s power. Through the lyrics, message, and general vibe of each song I hope that you will be able to better understand what the process was like for me.
The order in which these are listed is extremely important to my journey. You can listen to this playlist as you read along here. With that said, let’s kick it off with number one:
1. The Great unknown - Jukebox the Ghost
I actually discovered this song senior year of highschool just before graduation. Ever since then it’s always signified adventure and excitement that comes with big life changes. Packing my bags, boarding planes, making phone calls and scouring the web for an apartment; that’s the essence of this song. Like opening a door full of hope and new opportunities.
2. Scattered - Third Eye Blind
This song is extremely rich. It’s a lot to take in, from the soft acoustic intro to the punchy mix it morphs into. I drew something from each lyric. Where Jenkins was referencing his fear of going down a darker road with his rock career, I felt this in a similar way. My mind was racing, and at times I was second-guessing my decision to come to San Francisco. I strongly encourage you listen to this whole playlist, but if you lake the time or my writing failed to entice you, at least give this song a listen.
3. No Lover - Jetty Bones
This is a band I genuinely stumbled upon just before their tour happened to come to the city. This song really signifies independence and even though it’s through a woman’s perspective it resonated with me. I’d been going through some internal struggle with a relationship I was trying to maintain from 2,000+ miles away. This song made me remember how free and fun life can be. I also think that the lesser known nature of this band makes it more special to my specific experience.
4. Really Scared - Lil Dicky, Azadeh
This song hit me really hard about three months into my apprenticeship. It’s one of the two songs on this playlist because its very raw, open, and real. This touches on the feeling that I wasn’t necessarily always scared of failing or coming short, it was that question of, ‘What if I’m really successful here but I end up lonely most of the time?’ or ‘Could my expectations be so far from the reality that I get caught up in another thing I’m ultimately unhappy with?’. I’m happy I did everything I did there. I finished what I came to do and I’m a better man for it, this song really addresses doubts
5. Superman - Lazlo Bane
You might recognize this as the classic intro to the T.V. show [Scrubs]. This cheery, acoustic song really made me feel happy about going to work. It helped me remember that everything would work out in the end and I didn’t have to do things all by myself. My friends, Christian, Lydia, Elizabeth, Andrew, Zach, David, and Djiego all helped me feel a less alone out there. If any of you are reading this; *whispers* Thank You.
6. Fields & Fences - Yellowcard
7. I'm A Wrecking Ball - Yellowcard
Fields & Fences relates to how I know of a place with old friends and more comfortable surroundings. However, I have to take a chance to make my own fields and fences wherever I go, ” I don’t have much that I can give you but I know I love the way you make me feel like driving home”. It pushed me to bring the spirit of home into my own living room bedroom.
Wrecking Ball was for the times when I felt defeated at work. I knew I could come home and rest before doing it all again.
8. Suit & Jacket - Judah & the Lion
When I added this song to the playlist, it was because I really started to see San Francisco for what it really was. I’ve always had an immense amount of passion for everything I do and this opportunity was no exception. I love learning, growing, and sharing with others that have similar goals or just need some encouragement. After some time in the city, I realized that none of it was meant for me, and ultimately it didn’t resonate with who I am. I wanted more of that old feeling, and I knew I wouldn’t get it if I stayed.
9. If We Were Vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit
I was feeling really drained and this song shows that. “Maybe time running out is a gift, I work hard ’til the end of my shift”. I had spent several days alone and knew I wasn’t finished yet and that took a toll on me.
Shoutout to James Walpool for that “Remember your Roots” playlist though, that was the inspiration for this song.
10. Home For Fall - Real Friends
Spending fall, a beautiful season of change, in a place that’s largely unaffected by seasons was really hard. Heck, it wasn’t until July that I realized it was summer. While the perspective is sung from somebody who lost a friend to the East coast, I’d like to think of it in the opposite way. The West coast gained a friend that longed to go home. “We could listen to American Football, or talk about high school, just like we did the years before”, is the line that sticks with me here, no matter what I did with old friends, it was fun.
11. How Do You Know its Not Armadillo Shells - Hot Mulligan
I discovered this song the same time I discovered Jetty Bones as they both were performing at the same concert. A lot of this song is literal, reading between the lines signified a few other things for me. It signified having to keep groups of people happy, making my parents proud, keeping my boss satisfied with my work, and trying to keep a smile on my face when I just wanted to cry. “I just need some time to know what’s wrong in my head.”
12. 36 days (Acoustic) - Hawk Nelson
Another song about missing home. Can you tell I got a little homesick? I was really happy to be living out some of my personal dreams, and still always waiting for that moment I could see my family again and tell them all I did.
13. Slow it Down - The Lumineers
When you start a new life so far away, things can be very different and can seem all too fast paced. This song came from me needing to take time to slow everything down and think about why I was really doing all that I was. These songs all touched my soul a little bit and the simple folk beat and heartfelt story here really hit me.
14. Celebrate - The Unlikely Candidates
When you work in a startup that gets 15 million dollars worth of venture capitalist money, you feel like you’re in a really secure position both with the long-term state of the business and the prestige that 15 million dollars carry. We had many dinners on the company tab, orientations over Chinese food, meetings over free coffee from WeWork, and farewells over large sushi platters. It’s easy to get lost in everything; this is a recurring theme all over SF, not just with my last company.
15. Homesick (Acoustic) - A Day To Remember
I FaceTimed my family almost every Sunday just after dinner while I was in SF. Seeing them every week made me feel a bit better at times and a bit worse at others. Seeing everyone eat a home cooked meal while I was eating…well…something, probably. I found a way to survive, but this song taught me that those calls weren’t always for me, I made those calls so my family could see me and know I was progressing as a person. They weren’t always easy calls, but they helped everyone get through those times.
16. Meanwhile Back At Mamma's - Tim McGraw, Faith Hill
This is another song that was added due to those weekly video chats from home. Thinking about all the things I would do once I got back home…I ever could. I wanted to buy a truck (still do), and watch the sunset from our front window. This song is about the wholesome moments one can find only at home.
17. Old Friends - Ben Rector
Having old friends is such a wonderful thing, you grew up with them, they know you better than anyone else and chances are your best memories have them in them. My best friend, Caleb, came to visit me a month before my apprenticeship ended and when I hugged him goodbye I cried like a baby. I didn’t know when I would be able to see him again. This song hit home for me in that moment, you can grow up and make new friends, but there will never be any like the old ones.
18. Younger (Acoustic) - Great Big World
After Caleb left, I really got thinking about my childhood and everything that lead me to that very moment. Which is where this song helped me to remember all the wild, fun, and scary moments about growing up. This song makes me extremely happy with my life. My dad also found some old photos from when I first started playing Airsoft (my favorite activity ever), and it just brought back a wave of great feelings from the past.
19. California - Yellowcard
I knew the city pretty well after about 4 months and could show people around without much trouble. Some nights were just perfect, and that’s what this song pulls on. There were some things to love about the city, I now understood that. I began to make things my own and enjoy the little things like my ability to longboard almost anywhere.
20. OH CA - Bootstraps
We got 7 people and rented two cars at one point just to drive north and get out of the city. We drove to an old military encampment that was meant to be air defense in WWII. It was something about these deserted concrete emplacements and the beautiful cliffsides that made this moment special. I was with so many friends and I really cherished this moment. We drove around all night and this song was one of the last that I played before going home.
21. Be Like That (Live) - Three Doors Down
Everyone I seemed to run into or talk with thought that the city was the best thing since sliced bread. I started wondering if I could ever be like that.
‘What would I do if I ended up getting sold on this place and end up staying?’
22. I Remember - A day to remember
A Day To Remember has been a very popular band for over 15 years now and this song is about their personal journey as a band. The commentary at the end is really long but goes into more details and is actually pretty funny. In a similar way, I had to leave my hometown and encounter people who didn’t understand where I came from and what I sacrificed to do the things I did. I think the feeling of becoming your own person really shines in this song. I also think it alludes to those golden moments that happened every so often that made it all worth it.
23. A Long December - Counting crows
When I added this song, I was beginning to think it would be quite a long time before I would get to see the mitten state again. This painted a picture of spending the holidays alone, maybe taking another joy ride in a rental car or walking the beach again. Thankfully, this wasn’t the case, as it would’ve been excruciatingly lonely. This song serves as a reminder to
24. Exiles - Third eye blind
My apprenticeship was over and I was free to go home or try to pick up a full-time position at a different company. I was a bit sad that I didn’t get hired by my original company, but I couldn’t go on in that state anymore. I needed time to go home and recharge, time to asses my next big move, and time to pick up my old life where I left off. This was the sign I needed in order to go home, and I listened to this song while holding back tears of joy on my last few days at work.
I made this playlist to help me get through a hard time in my life and I’m showing it to you because I hope that in some way a song will resonate with you or help you to better understand what I did in the past six months. Lastly, I just want to say that I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world. I wanted out at many points, yes, but the fact that I stuck it out and made the best of everything has made me that much stonger.
One thought on “The SF Story – Through Music”
The return of the King! Nice! Liked your read will have to take time to listen to the songs.
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